What's the least Jalop car you love?

"sm70- why not Duesenberg?" (sm70-whynotduesenberg) 01/04/2015 at 13:37 • Filed to: None

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I don't mean un-Jalop as in "Oh my God it's front wheel drive" or "Gaaaaah automatic" or anything like that. I mean a car that is a non-enthusiast car, a car that should not, by all rights, have any reason for a gear head to choose it. For this discussion, I am going to rule that all cheap Craigslit-y cars are off limits. Yes, a $700 Toyota Corolla would seem un-Jalop, but we all know that anyone on here would hoon a Craigslist beater, no matter how boring it is. To keep things interesting, the cars must realistically be worth more than $10,000 and not be older than 2000. Preferrably, it will actually be fairly new. Mine is the Bentley Continental GT convertible. It makes no effort to be a sporty driver's car. It's a massive, heavy, automatic, AWD, expensive monstrosity of a thing for wealthy socialites to cruise up and down Rodeo Drive and then take to Ruth's Chris for dinner. Most people who buy a Bentley Continental GT new are of a certain financial status, and are just looking for a car to drive around in every day, the same way most people look for a family sedan. You could say that the Bentley Continental is the Camry of the 1%. And I'm not talking about a $49,000 Tavarish Bentley. That would be too Jalop, because Jalops love bargains, as I said. I'm talking about paying the three-hundred-something-thousand to buy one new. I totally would. What about you? What new or newer car would you love buy even if it meant handing in your Jalop card? You must be able to justify a number of reasons why the car is un-Jalop.

crowmolly > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:44

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Drove a GP for 12 years and loved it. IMO this car gets WAY more hate than it should, especially considering it was doing FI back when most cars were putt-putt NA 4 or anemic 6 bangers. Would kill a Mustang GT with no issues.

Intake, exhaust, tune, 180 stat, pulley swap = 300hp in an afternoon.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > crowmolly 01/04/2015 at 13:45

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Did those have the 3800?

Luke's Dad Sold His 2000TL To Get a Sienna > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:47

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Every Lexus ever. The Chevrolet Traverse. And the Toyota Sienna and Alphard.

ly2v8-Brian > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:49

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of course, both NA and supercharged.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:49

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Probably the new XC90. I generally don't like big SUVs, sometimes with a passion, but the XC90 is just so cool. UnJalop-ness is tricky to say though, especially with that new 400bhp drivetrain...

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Luke's Dad Sold His 2000TL To Get a Sienna 01/04/2015 at 13:49

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Excellent nominations.

GTRZILLAR32-Now saving for Godzilla and a condo > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:51

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Range Rover LWB, (even though I think it qualifies as Jalop) a CL65 AMG, or new S class coupe.

ly2v8-Brian > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:51

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I wouldn't mind a late 4th gen v6 Camaro as a daily because RWD and Buick 3800

daender > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:51

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It'd be the Chevorlet HHR. This car gets a lot of flak for its retro styling and cheap interior, at least they're right about the interior since a McDonalds playpen has better-quality plastic. Even with the smaller 2.2L engine and meh-quality autotragic it served my family without major issues for several years, 60k miles, and an autocross championship-winning season before we sold it to fund the Miata. The car was a decent looker with vinyl stripes and a set of aero-dish hubcaps.

mazda616 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:52

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Cadillac SRX. Pictured is my grandmother's 2012 SRX Performance Collection. I love this thing and I love driving it. It proves that GM can build something that feels high quality and can genuinely compete with the imports. As has been said, there's a reason it is Cadillac's volume model.

I haven't exactly been a GM fan for a long, long time, but this is one of their products I can genuinely say I would own. It shares a platform with the Equinox and Terrain, but having driven an Equinox, I can truly say that it feels nothing like its platform-mates.

My citroen won't start > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:53

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This is a car to be driven around in, not to drive. To go peasant hunting. My choice is the Arnage.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:54

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Supercharged W-Bodies.

FWD, pushrod V6, automatic only.

But damn son those things haul ass. I'm not sure how they handle, but I imagine they're a few component swaps away from being serious performance cars.

BMW 320i

Considered the poseur 3, but 0-60 in 6.7 seconds and being less than $35,000 with the sport package makes it sound more like a luxury performance bargain.

Slant6 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:55

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Aztec. Because it gets no love.

glemon > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:55

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Newer Toyota Matrix? maybe not because I would go for the XR-s with the revvy engine, but I have been known to look at the Mazda 5 as a practical space efficient whatever it is, and also the Prius C—But I have not been on Jaloponik long enough to figure out if the C is just considered boring, utilitarian transportation or gets some minimal cred for being efficient, technically interesting (arguably) and small and well, not small and sporty, but small and lightish.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > GTRZILLAR32-Now saving for Godzilla and a condo 01/04/2015 at 13:55

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I could see where those, certainly at least the Range Rover, could qualify as un-Jalop.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > mazda616 01/04/2015 at 13:57

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An excellent nomination.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > glemon 01/04/2015 at 13:59

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The Prius C is a very un-Jalop car, regardless of whether it's a small hatchback. People around here hate anything with the word "Prius" in it, so yeah, it counts.

Vicente Esteve > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 13:59

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My Cabrio!

"Bitch Basket"

"Tennis Skirt of Cars"

This is a GREAT drive, and I want to experience its top down fun again sometime in the future.

Alex B > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:04

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Any SUV/Crossover. I'm quite partial to them for some reason.

TheJWT > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:04

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I know these are overpriced poser-mobiles, and I'm not even a big fan of 911s, but something about the 997 Speedster just does it for me.

I own dead car brands only > daender 01/04/2015 at 14:06

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you just made me want a base HHR to go auto crossing with

daender > I own dead car brands only 01/04/2015 at 14:08

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The automatic actually had an advantage over manual cars in that I could do hard launches without giving a shit about missed shifts; lock the transmission into low and chuck it through corners and slaloms in ways that would scare bean-counters.

44444444444 > GTRZILLAR32-Now saving for Godzilla and a condo 01/04/2015 at 14:08

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Which LWB? The new one or the old one?

I own dead car brands only > daender 01/04/2015 at 14:11

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Do you have any more pictures of it in action? I love seeing unexpected cars being auto crossed and hooned in general

SlickMcRick > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:12

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I honestly plan to get one hopefully by the end of the year. I love that double sunroof. No Jalop seems to have this thing. For that matter nobody seems to have one but I've loved them since I first laid eyes on them. The Ecoboost engine is there but it's more so for efficiency than anything else.

44444444444 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:13

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Mercedes Benz G63 AMG

I know it's terrible but I want one and always will. A 50 year old body on frame SUV with a turbo'd V8 that goes 0-60 faster than a lot of cars just speaks to me.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > SlickMcRick 01/04/2015 at 14:13

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I think one Jalop may have one...can't think who it is at the moment.

Oh wait it's me.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:15

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Toyota Alphard Royal Lounge. Look at that!

It's a 7-seater minivan turned into a first-class 4-seater limo.

44444444444 > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut 01/04/2015 at 14:16

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IMHO the only reason Volvo released the XC90 in their new SPA first is because it's their best selling car. It'd have been cooler for them to do it with the XC70 (because wagon)... but a lot more people buy XC90s. It is literally the car that kept Volvo afloat. Now they just need to take that 400BHP drivetrain and shove it into a V70 with a wing. Thus recreating the magic of the V70R.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > 44444444444 01/04/2015 at 14:16

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Same. I have a seriously high love for these things even though they're pointless, expensive, mediocre poser mobiles according to most.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. 01/04/2015 at 14:16

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Dat lastic upholstery.

SlickMcRick > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:17

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You're awesome. What year and model do you have? I want a first gen model, would love to get the ecoboost but I'll settle for an AWD model. If I do that I'll shoot for a limited.

44444444444 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:17

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I have wanted one of these, an H1, and a Land Rover Defender for as long as I can remember. G Wagon or bust!

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:20

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I'll hand in my card for the F02 740Li, with the semi-reliable inline six N55, land yacht size it looks like a worthy replacement for my e38 in the distant future. Also I like GM trucks,SUVs, and the Cadillac sts.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:21

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Well, it's just Shipped from Japan. Local Lexus/Toyota dealer has one of those, and they want 145k USD for it.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > SlickMcRick 01/04/2015 at 14:22

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2009 FWD SEL, but with all the Limited equipment. We bought it new, and we're looking to trade it in within the next four months, possibly on an Ecoboost. Ours is especially un-Jalop because aftermarket chrome wheels.

GeorgeyBoy > mazda616 01/04/2015 at 14:27

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It doesn't really share a platform with them.

SlickMcRick > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:28

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Sooo much shiny bits. How many miles do you have on it and whats the reliability been like? I really don't know why I want one so bad, maybe it's because I've missed the old Suburban we used to have. Massive size and great power. The largest vehicle I've owned has been either my 93 Accord or 13 Civic. I'm currently on my 6th car.

GTRZILLAR32-Now saving for Godzilla and a condo > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:30

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I find un-jalop to be murky when strickly referencing vehicles. Un-jalop is more of a personality/lifestyle.

GeorgeyBoy > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:32

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Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > Vicente Esteve 01/04/2015 at 14:41

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Hahaha"Bitch Basket", thanks for that.

Kanaric > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:44

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Mustang GT

It's not europeon or asian.

It is a coupe and not a wagon.

It isn't a diesel.

Everyone has one, it's not some obscure car.

El Rivinado > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:44

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The Rolls Royce Phantom and Rolls Royce Silver Spur. I know both of these cars reek of Grey Poupon and play "Money" on a constant loop, but I just can't help but love the idea of driving a piece of ye ol' England that'll pamper my ass with some of the best cloud-like suspension this side of a Lincoln.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > SlickMcRick 01/04/2015 at 14:44

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We have put about 130k miles on it. It has been fairly reliable, but not exceptionally so. There have been one or two issues, but I can't remember what they were off the top of my head.

thebigbossyboss > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:46

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Came to post my unjalop automotive love. Too many rules and car doesn't qualify. Oh well.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Kanaric 01/04/2015 at 14:49

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It's still a manual, RWD car sporty car. I guess it's un-Jalop to some.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > thebigbossyboss 01/04/2015 at 14:50

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Well, let's hear it and I'll see if an exception shall be made.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:50

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The Toyota Camry. Sure, it's kind of boring, but it's pretty fucking fast, it's well known to be reliable, they are cheap to own, they are good on gas, and there are more boring cars on the market.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 01/04/2015 at 14:51

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Oh, you mean the 2015?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:53

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Any Camry, really. Most of these cars through the years have been awful in comparison.

thebigbossyboss > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:53

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Ford Tempo. Because 1st car.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:55

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I like this for 2 reasons; the Interior and that rear hatch.

JR1 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:55

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Just a good honest convertible. In the light metallic silver blue with chrome wheels in mint condition they look excellent. Punchy little engine too. I will always love the Chrysler Sebring

crowmolly > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 14:56

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L36 N/A 3800 and L67 Supercharged 3800. L67 got a better trans.

crowmolly > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 01/04/2015 at 14:57

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I know, that's a great term!

Vicente Esteve > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 01/04/2015 at 14:58

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It even had the handle!

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 15:06

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I think it's just brilliant

And this one. I still remember sitting on the school bus, when I was in 3rd or 4th grade, and seeing the concept Hummer truck. I think it was 2003. I waited 6 years for it to come out and I was glad it did. I still think it's a cool vehicle.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 15:09

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Is the Ferrari California "Un-jalop"

Manuél Ferrari > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 15:10

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Any minivan

Minivans rock

So awesome for road trips

Tatanko > ly2v8-Brian 01/04/2015 at 15:21

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Ugh, but the gas mileage is awful and the visibility out of those cars is equally terrible. Oh, and parking them is somewhat annoying too. I would not consider them good "daily" material.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > thebigbossyboss 01/04/2015 at 15:22

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Okay fiiiiiine. This comment shall stand.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 01/04/2015 at 15:24

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Some people would consider it to be so. According to that FP list it's a car for posers.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > SlickMcRick 01/04/2015 at 15:24

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I rented one to bring four people to Lake Tahoe one winter. It drove in bad winter weather very well and I thought it was pretty nice. It was the nicest model I think, huge back seating. Its just too big for where I live on a daily basis.

Tatanko > crowmolly 01/04/2015 at 15:27

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I very nearly ended up with one as a first car, until a buddy of mine allowed my dad and I to take a lightly-modded one out for a spin on wet pavement. My dad was not amused with the results, needless to say, and ultimately did not allow me to buy one. Instead, I pushed a 1995 Nissan Maxima to its breaking points on a regular basis ;)

But, I did go on to spend a lot of time in W-body community anyway and I have a lot of respect for these cars and what they are capable of. On a few occasions I had the pleasure of piloting a 600 HP turbo Regal (originally an N/A model) down the dragstrip and on a couple of longer highway trips where I had a chance to stretch its legs. It had a lot of stealthy suspension and brake work done and some subtle aftermarket wheels to mount bigger tires, but was otherwise completely stock until you popped the hood. The guy daily drives it to this day and it has over 200k miles on it! :)

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > 44444444444 01/04/2015 at 15:29

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Get a proper one!!

Tatanko > mazda616 01/04/2015 at 15:30

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I'm a fan of the previous generation as well. I always thought they would be a good candidate for a stock-ish LSx swap.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 01/04/2015 at 15:31

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I think so, its the Camry of Ferraris.

RobG-ADV > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 15:36

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How about my 2005 Dodge RAM 3500 4x4 dually diesel 6sp manual? :)

Funktheduck > crowmolly 01/04/2015 at 15:56

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I have learned new things today.

Funktheduck > thebigbossyboss 01/04/2015 at 15:57

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My brother's first car was a tempo. It was my grandmother's. It got passed down to him when she passed away.

thebigbossyboss > Funktheduck 01/04/2015 at 16:02

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Oh I see. I got mine from a business associate of my dad's he had gotten it on a trade in on something or other.

daender > I own dead car brands only 01/04/2015 at 16:19

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I can do better with actual video footage both on-car and bystand-view.

glemon > thebigbossyboss 01/04/2015 at 16:21

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Although they don't follow the rules on age and price, I agree about the Tempo, have never driven a more limp biscuit kind of car, my mom owned one. Come to think of it anything my dear old mum had was very Un-jalop—before the Tempo was a 83 or so Plymouth Turismo, before that a 74 Plymouth Valiant (which I tried very hard to kill both directly by crashing it, and indirectly by beating the hell out of the slant six and slushbox whenever I drove it) and after the Tempo the late, unlamented, Saturn Ion, her current driver. Love my mom, her choice in cars not so much.

fishtankwog > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 16:42

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Wife's car. Basic 2014 VW Golf 4 -door. Always works,comfy, nice to drive, everything looks, feels and smells like it was thought through and well-considered. Fits in many parking opportunities - invisible to police and thieves...Might be the MacBook Pro of cars...

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/04/2015 at 16:48

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it's spectacularly roomy, drives like an Accord, and is still a bit of a looker. Taking one for aroad trip is a great idea.

thebigbossyboss > glemon 01/04/2015 at 16:49

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It was in no way a great car, but you always love your first right? I always get excited when I see one for no good reason.

mazda616 > GeorgeyBoy 01/04/2015 at 16:51

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Really? I've always heard that it did. I know there was a Saab version of it that was basically killed off before it could be released (they sold like 100-ish?).

GeorgeyBoy > mazda616 01/04/2015 at 17:03

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It shared it with the Saab. The SRX is pretty different compared to the Terrain/Equinox.

glemon > thebigbossyboss 01/04/2015 at 17:23

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I understand the first car think, my mom's was beige, if the graham cracker was the food invented to be so plain it would keep people from thinking about sex, the beige tempo was the car, etc.

mazda616 > GeorgeyBoy 01/04/2015 at 17:28

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Yeah. I found out online that the SRX is on the Theta Premium platform which is in itself a combination of the Theta and the Epsilon II.

GeorgeyBoy > mazda616 01/04/2015 at 17:30

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Someone wrote something on here explaining how different the 2 platforms are but I don't feel like looking.

SlickMcRick > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 01/04/2015 at 20:00

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Thats great. I've heard it's really comfortable from the reviews. How was the acceleration with a car full of people and luggage? Was it bogged down. If not I'll actively consider the base engine. It's almost 4800 lbs without passengers so I figured it might need more power to get out it's own way.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > SlickMcRick 01/04/2015 at 21:44

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I don't think I ever thought I was lacking power, seemed fine with everyone and everything in the snow. There was a lot of snow, people without AWD were either not making it or putting chains on. It was very stable in the snow, I was expecting to be very busy driving it and it was like a barge eating it up. Isn't it built on a suburban chassis? It feels very roomy, I would rent one for trips every time.

SlickMcRick > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 01/04/2015 at 21:59

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Well that's encouraging. All the Ecoboosts in my budget typically include close to 100k mileage or above. Maybe they'll be cheaper and with lower mileage by years end. If so that's the choice I'm making. If not a fully loaded Limited or Platinum model should fit the bill. I'm still undecided on the seating configuration I want. I think either 7 or the 6 with the refrigerator. One thing I will not back down on is that Vista Roof option, no ifs, ands, or buts. I was going to get a FWD one but dad insists on AWD since it's available and is now reasonably priced. By the way it runs on an extended Ford Taurus X platform (More power to you if you remember those) not the Suburban (two rival companies). Suburban is truck-based and the Flex is car-based.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > SlickMcRick 01/04/2015 at 22:09

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Oh we had that vista roof, it was nice seeing the sky in the mountains, I believe it had a fridge but it was cold so we didn't use it. I do remember the Taurus X, not many in San Francisco, people buy a lot of Euro and Japanese here. Damn, I thought if it was based on a truck it could be lifted a bit. It felt really open inside, if you could properly lift a Flex a bit it would be really cool.

edu-petrolhead > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/05/2015 at 08:41

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I don't believe it qualifies as "un-jalopy", but it's a damn SUV. I jsut adore the Skoda Yeti

In the completely "un-jalopy" realm, I must say I like this gen Honda Civic. I don't know specifically what's its generation, because in Brazil it was only the second. It looks elegant, is incredibly reliable, comfortable and economical. Pretty good for a contry where everything is obscenely expensive like Brazil